• Registered: 2007-09-11
  • Posts: 395

Topic: seraph given months - he'll take 120

Yesterday the MD said that this was the most aggressive tumor that he's seen in 20 years, one other in 20 year grew this fast and resisted Chemo and radation.  He said "You got months - and I maybe wrong ..."

I said "Look its skin lymphoma - that's easy to cure I read"

He said "Nope you don't have skin Lymphoma - what you got is interanal Lymphoma eating up threw your skin ... you got months not years."

I said, "Okay I got months - I'll take 120!"

I'm eating fine - a bit 'light' for me - but that's about what a normal person eats - I was a HUGE eater! - drinking fulids just fine - pooping was a problem - but the cute blond girl - showed her profeincy at fleet and so that's no longer a problem or as big a one as it was.

Pain? - I use an Oxy every 12 to 16+ hours - and the rest of the time I'm eating enough MMJ to drop a bull elephent - its pertty funny given that I WAS such a light weight before I got this crap - now I tell people my dosages and they get scard.  We (HMS) makes a spical losenger that is for heavy pain and post Op morphine replacement, we call them #20's - we make #5's and #10s too - 5's are like a hit or two or some great meds - 10's are for serious pain flare ups - 20's are BOOM BOOM OUT GO THE LIGHTS - I'm doing 4 or more 20's in 12 hours - I also use a topical rub which stops the pain and iching of the exposed tumors on  my skin (my pizza looking thigh) ... also helps with my back pain

Helps isn't a good word - think like some one just reachs over and turns down the volume nob on the pain from 12 to 1 in a few seconds - its amazing stuff! + as (of course) anit infection stuff in it too!

Such is life - and it is good - like I said "Months? I'm too busy for this - I'll take 120 months - minumum!

And one person can lift this the same one who got me this far - GOD can lift this as he has lead me in everything else ...

Anyway that's the news - for anyone intrested on my latest with OUR bout with Lymphoma

  • Registered: 2007-09-18
  • Posts: 15

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

I don't post here often nor at other sites that the two of us probably also frequent, but I do come here almost on a daily basis to read and educate myself to the best of my ability.
You're posts have been some of the more insightful ones and some of the ones that I have looked forward to reading.
I know we don't know each other and that there really isn't anything that I can say to you or really do to ease your life in any way, suffice it to say that you are and have been in my prayers and will remain there.  I am also a firm believer that (if not in this life, then ...) we will one day have the opportunity to give each other a great big hug, and I am truly looking forward to that.
But your post haunts me.
Not the fact that your health issues have not improved but rather the lack of responses to your reaching out to us is what bothers me.
It bothers me that I even thought of having to write some thing like this ... it bothers me that  ... it bothers me ... I've just lost so many, too many good people in my life, that the loss of even one more (sight unseen and never hugged, lol) is almost more than I can bear.
It bothers me that there is nothing that I can do to help as I myself am not the crispiest anymore either, and it bothers me that the world isn't fair and that it sucks and that there are times that I hate everything in it and that ... that ... just ... if I could give you but one more day.
Know that you are respected.
Peace-Pot-Microdot

  • Registered: 2008-02-12
  • Posts: 1,723

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

Graehstone wrote:

I don't post here often nor at other sites that the two of us probably also frequent, but I do come here almost on a daily basis to read and educate myself to the best of my ability.
You're posts have been some of the more insightful ones and some of the ones that I have looked forward to reading.
I know we don't know each other and that there really isn't anything that I can say to you or really do to ease your life in any way, suffice it to say that you are and have been in my prayers and will remain there.  I am also a firm believer that (if not in this life, then ...) we will one day have the opportunity to give each other a great big hug, and I am truly looking forward to that.
But your post haunts me.
Not the fact that your health issues have not improved but rather the lack of responses to your reaching out to us is what bothers me.
It bothers me that I even thought of having to write some thing like this ... it bothers me that  ... it bothers me ... I've just lost so many, too many good people in my life, that the loss of even one more (sight unseen and never hugged, lol) is almost more than I can bear.
It bothers me that there is nothing that I can do to help as I myself am not the crispiest anymore either, and it bothers me that the world isn't fair and that it sucks and that there are times that I hate everything in it and that ... that ... just ... if I could give you but one more day.
Know that you are respected.
Peace-Pot-Microdot

Graehstone,

Seraph is in a lot of people's prayers, and I'll wager he's received a LOT of e-mail regarding his updated status:(
My conversation with him is however private, and I'm likely not the only one.

The one thing I can say fairly confidently, is that Seraph is a great man with a giant heart.

The fact that he continues to be the energize bunny in the face of all this is a testimony to his character.
(and boy is he a character!) smile

'He's too busy for this' smile  God knows the good he's doing, and he knows his heart.  So everyone send off your
prayer (really, get quiet, focus and ask God to ease Seraph's pain and to help him heal.)

  • Registered: 2008-12-19
  • Posts: 25

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

I'm am very new to this forum Jan. 09 and reading your old and
new posts, as well as, replies ^@^  have been informative.
Your replies on contaminants and how we should be more
mindful in our business practices is a voice not often expressed
and i wish to thank you on educating me.

Like me, others who come to this forum, will no doubt do a
search and read all your posts, seraph  like I have done. The time,
the patience and the courage in writing and voicing your opinions
is well evident and appreciated and sets an example for others to
voice their opinions as well.

Your voice and compassion will live on in us educating
others, using you as a reference and as an example of a person
who established  good business practices and in expressing your
views, so others may learn. In a word sharing.... _(^_^)_

Thank you for sharing your views and wisdom. @(-_-)@
On a more sober note I like to share these two passages.
A passage from Paul Bowles' book The Sheltering Sky
__{ö}__

"Because we don't know when we will die,
we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well.
And yet everything happens only a certain number of times,
and a very small number really.
How many more times will you remember
a certain afternoon of  your childhood,
an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being ........
...... that you can't even conceive of  your life without it?
Perhaps four, or five times more?
Perhaps not even that.
How many more times will you watch the full moon rise?
Perhaps twenty.
And yet it all seems limitless..."

A passage from Paul McCartney's song  Let it Be (edit by me)

When I find myself in times of trouble, 
My loved ones come to me,
And in my hour of darkness
They are standing right in front of me,
Singing words of wisdom, be in peace. (*_*)

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world Agree, 
There will be an answer, go in peace.
For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see,
There will be an answer come in peace.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light, that shines on you,
Shine until tomorrow, pass in peace.
I wake up to the sound of music, my loved ones come to me.
Speaking words of wisdom, love and peace.

Spring has sprung and with all the energy the plants are producing
to grow and change,
grab hold seraph and be in and connect with the energy of nature.


"NOTHING IS OUT OF THE QUESTION
THE WAY I LIVE MY LIFE.
I'M ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT CREATING.
MY FUTURE STARTS WHEN I WAKE UP
EVERY MORNING,
THAT'S WHEN IT STARTS...
WHEN I WAKE UP AND SEE THE FIRST LIGHT.
THEN I'M GREATFUL..."
- Miles Davis

Nam myoho renge kyo
May you walk in peace
and grow strong as the living plants you cultivate.

Then seraph, wake up to find out, that you have shared
your eyes to the world, for many of us......

safeaccesschuck

...

  • From: Los Angeles, CA
  • Registered: 2007-05-25
  • Posts: 1,076

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

Hello, Seraph. I am so sorry to hear that report from your doctor, but they are wrong a lot, too. I have seen so many patients fight back and prove the doctors wrong on things like this. My money is on you! Keep on eating, medicating, and fighting.

dondduncan's Website

  • From: Humboldt County
  • Registered: 2007-09-24
  • Posts: 1,249

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

those of us who know and love Seraph realize how difficult it is to respond in a forum discussion to his recent and harsh diagnosis.
We greatly appreciate all the prayer-givers, well wishers and good vibe senders, and thank you for encouraging words and thoughts of support to a very devoted MMJ activist.

I must insist that the 'powers that be' give him those 120 months he's asking for!!
Anyone with ANY divine influence, please help us out!

  • Registered: 2007-09-11
  • Posts: 395

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

you know LindaAnne  - I think where we were first monday in March - and how with in 10 days we had a positive feed back and the only council member who I thought would vote against us - is the one presenting.  We worked with all the rest and the Mayor.  I thought the funnyest thing was watching the LG and his reactions.  Everyone that knows him and hears it says, "what else do you expect?"

be funny if it all came down faster here in 'red neck city' with 'the 'evil city manager' vs. the 'groovey one' that took what 2 years and a law suit.  Amaing! Idid some work on it tonight on a spread sheet to see how much even the one year conditional use permit 'trial place' would drop COP - (cost of prod) because of EOS - (econ of scale) and it cuts it in 1/2 or better! ... I'll e-mail it out to you! ..

I really only need 24 though 36 would be nice  - even in this pain ..(ugh!) .. I'm full of Medi-drops and Morphine and up typing / working to keep my mind off the pain!

  • From: Humboldt County
  • Registered: 2007-09-24
  • Posts: 1,249

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

It's difficult to realize that just a month ago Seraph was posting here and giving us all what-for.

I visited him today and things are not going well.
His strength is decreasing daily now as he is flat on his back in a hospital bed at home.
Hospice is coming in tomorrow and the un-thinkable is upon us.

He has enjoyed this forum and the discussions here very, very much.
I doubt he will be able to read this post, and/or any email messages.
If you send email well wishes to me, I will print your messages and read them to him.

He sincerely appreciates all your compassionate and caring thoughts as his journey comes to an end, and is grateful for the continued support that has been shown for his extended family at Humboldt Medical Supply.

  • From: Los Angeles, CA
  • Registered: 2007-05-25
  • Posts: 1,076

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

LindaAnne, please give Seraph my regards and wish him well for me. His voice is missed here. Thank you for standing beside him at this difficult time.

dondduncan's Website

  • Registered: 2008-02-12
  • Posts: 1,723

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

LindaAnne wrote:

It's difficult to realize that just a month ago Seraph was posting here and giving us all what-for.

I visited him today and things are not going well.
His strength is decreasing daily now as he is flat on his back in a hospital bed at home.
Hospice is coming in tomorrow and the un-thinkable is upon us.

He has enjoyed this forum and the discussions here very, very much.
I doubt he will be able to read this post, and/or any email messages.
If you send email well wishes to me, I will print your messages and read them to him.

He sincerely appreciates all your compassionate and caring thoughts as his journey comes to an end, and is grateful for the continued support that has been shown for his extended family at Humboldt Medical Supply.

As his time and energy were being pulled in 20 directions, we started dialing back our e-mail
give & take/spit-balling.  But since last summer, I have around 500 e-mails, most sent in the middle
of the night when neither of us could sleep...  some written while HEAVILY medicated, and through
it all, an indominable spirit, quick wit, and a giant heart.  This is in ADDITION to how much was being
written here.  Seraph, even through e-mail, is a larger than life character (with more than a bit of
iconclast thrown in) smile

He is one of the proudest fathers you'll ever meet,
and his love for his whole family (HMS included) is
amazing.  That love embraced the patients of HMS
as well, and people like LindaAnne, who is one
impressive lady.  HMS will thrive as a shining
example of how to DO IT RIGHT, and that is quite
a legacy.

This movement owes him an immeasurable debt, and an
immense amount of respect.

I'm honored to call him my friend, and he knows I love him.
(he'll quickly add, but not in that GAY way! with a chuckle or
a giggle)

E. , we'll meet in our next existence.

  • Registered: 2007-09-18
  • Posts: 15

Re: seraph given months - he'll take 120

"E. , we'll meet in our next existence."

And I am so looking forward to that too, to be able to give each and every one that has gone before a huge hug.  Not that I am wanting this to happen anytime soon mind you, but it is something I am looking forward to none the less.
Much love and even much more respect being sent.
May you be pain free and at peace.